Size Matters

Forever ago Bruce Willis made the movie, “Unbreakable” and the evil Samuel L. Jackson character says, “We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends” .  He  was hell-bent on finding the other end of that curve.  I totally get that because tall people fascinate me.   A lot.  Really.    For a while now I have been on a quest to find the tallest man…and get a photo with him.  Not just some crazy voyeur shot…like I take of the Amish, a real photo where we both are displayed in our freakishness.  Last year I found this guy:

Now that is a big man!  Finding someone higher up than this guy was going to be difficult.

I have been having a dry spell for about a year now.  However, today I hit pay dirt! 

The issue with meeting really large people…and wanting to 1.) figure out how tall they are and 2.) get a picture with them, is how to do it without offending them.  Seeing as we are on the same curve, I am unsure how I would react to someone coming up to me and saying, “My goal is to have my picture taken with the shortest person I have ever met.  How tall are you? Wow really?  That’s really figgin short!  Can we get a photo together?  I’d like to blog about this later.”  In an effort to be a kinder, gentler Kelly, I have experimented with several approaches.  Today would have been so much easier if I knew who the guy was.  When I got him to agree to take a photo with me, his friend said, “still a legend huh man?”  Turns out the guy had some sort of pro basketball career and was an all-star.  Sounds reasonable seeing as he was 6’10”.  Had I known this, I could have totally skipped the height thing and gotten a fan photo…which I am clearly not, but it would have been a good guise. 

I was wearing my "meet tall people" shirt after all

Check this guy out!  We are without a doubt on opposite ends of the same curve.  My boobs are BELOW HIS BELT!  I would love to know who this guy is – any help appreciated.  I think he played for the Celtics…which is indeed a pro basketball team who may or may not have had this guy as an all-star.

(update, thanks to my old next door neighbor and class mate, the uber tall man has been identified as Darrin Morningstar - thanks Chris)

When I was little, I was little.  I wasn’t much of a husband/wedding/kid daydreamer, but I decided I was going to mate with an exceptionally large man in the hopes that his genetics would override mine and my children wouldn’t be miniature.    That was a great plan until I dated a guy who was 6’4”.  When he wrapped his arm around me, my face landed directly in his arm pit.  The few dates we went on were in the summer and he liked sleeveless shirts.  I’d get a hug with a complementary goatee.  Mmmm, smells like grandpa.  I mean between that and everyone asking if he had gotten me through the big brother program, it was a kamikaze situation.  All for the best I guess.  It would be tough to have a seven year old bigger than me.