To market to market

Last night my Dad asked me if I wanted to tag along to Rogers which is only the largest flea market in the area.  I was feeling a bit down and I knew there would be loads of Amish there so I figured I could take my camera and entertain myself stealing Amish souls.  Always a good time. 

It takes a special kind of crazy to enjoy flea markets.  Lucky for me it lands in my spectrum of insanity.  We trolled the aisles of old glass wear and barely legal guns for about three minutes before we were both sweating through our shirts.  We still smelled better than the average shopper and powered on.  My assignment for this outing was to come home with the most useless thing on the market.  I was almost sold on this gem:

 

I mean who wouldn’t want a resin skull prominently displayed on their kitchen table?  Thing is, it still holds salt and pepper shakers…so while wildly tacky, still useful.

The next contender:

Perhaps scarier than the skull, disturbing 3 foot high midget Victorian recreations.  I would have taken a photo from the front, but I didn’t want to look them in their Chucky eyes.  I mean you can see there is already police tape up.  Do you know what happened?  Me neither, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were hiding slain puppies and crushed rainbows under their petticoats.  I decided these would be useful if I ever became constipated.  Just put one of these in the bathroom and everyone will be in and out in under a minute.

But, I am looking for useless.  Well, I don’t chew tobacco.  Moreover, no one I know chews tobacco

making a spittoon the most useless thing I could find.  I paid a whole $7 for this bad boy.  Unfortunately for my gums, it is growing on me and I think I may need to take up chewing tobacco just so this thing can fulfill it’s purpose in life.

Mission accomplished.

So back to the Amish. I hunted them abashedly with my Nikon. Here they are making Amish doughnuts. Resistance was futile.  Anything made with lard then fried in the same puts a Krispy Kreme to shame.

I did a mad four miles of penance for this indulgance.

There was a proliferation of amazing produce and I totally dorked out.  I bought cherries, strawberries, nectarines, orange pepper, portabellas, and something that had been hiding from me my whole life: strawberry sweet corn.

We loaded our swamp asses into my Dad’s VW thankful that leather seats were an upgrade skipped on this car and crossed our fingers it would make it home.

It did.  Made squash and pepper soup, fruit salad, strawberry pie…and now a post.