Making Room

Making room for "Big Rocks"

'Tis that time of year when resolutions abound. 

I thought about making some, but then there was a shiny metal object… 

Resolutions are great, don’t get me wrong, but I have never been very good at hitting the traditional timeline.  Seems like every time I go for a walk and have a long honest conversation with myself, I make goals.  Those are sort of the same things I guess without the annual review format.  This summer was a big one for me. 

There was a chain e-mail that circulated some years ago.  I liked it so much that I sort of robbed the philosophy and often refer to things as “Big Rocks” or “Water.”  Here is a version of the story:

A professor stood before his class and wordlessly picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full?

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor added sand. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

Finally he poured in a glass of water.  The jar was full.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. Smaller yet is the sand.  The water is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the water into the jar first, there is no room for the sand, the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Take care of the big rocks first "




It is cheesy and I know most have you probably received this from your Aunt who told you to pass it on to twenty people in twenty minutes or bad luck would follow, but I love this!

So many times when I find myself stressed or confused, I’ll ask myself if this is a big rock.  If not – eh.  No need to get too worried about it.  I mean I’ll still do whatever it is if I committed to it, but maybe giving it a bit less of me.

The tricky thing is figuring out what exactly those big rocks are for you.  During a walk, I realized I had allowed too many of other people’s rocks into MY mayonnaise jar which left way too little room for my rocks.  For me.  Being completely honest with myself and sorting out what really matters to me rather than what takes up my time or stresses me out, I was able to refill my jar in a way that better represented who I am and where I want to go.

The thing that gets me about what people choose to focus this New Year’s energy on, is so often it is sand in their jar.  To take a pebble and make it a big rock, something has to leave the jar…maybe a whole lot of something…or be reduced to sand.  Maybe that’s why so many folks don’t last until February with their resolutions.  They add two or three or four big rocks to an already full jar and can't figure out why they don’t fit.

This year I made poker a big rock.  It matters to me and I want it in my jar before the pebbles and sand go taking all that prime real estate.  If you have ever met me, I am sure you can name off my other big rocks.  Admitting to myself and to my family that playing a card game matters that much to me was a break through.  I don’t live in Vegas or on the Gulf Coast.  But, the closest casino isn’t too far away, about an hour fifteen if you get on the autostrada going the right direction.  There is rarely a cash game there and when there is, it is way out of my price range.  Still, they have decent tournaments and really, that’s where I want to be anyway.

I know it is already January 10^th, but if you procrastinated making resolutions, I would like to challenge you instead to fill your mayonnaise jar putting in the big rocks first.