At school my kids make art like the tween sweatshop workers produce reduced-price plus-sized jeans for Wal-Mart. If I were one of those moms who kept every scrap of paper my children ever made an adorable little doodle on, we would need a separate room for 2009-2011 and a full time employee to catalog the collection. I, however, am not that Mom. Normally I look at the scraps of paper, smile, coo, ask questions and then toss ‘em as soon as they turn their heads.
Then there are the art projects that cause me to shoot coffee out of my nose.
Yesterday Rex brought home this beautiful painting.
Kelly: So Rex, who is this?
Rex: It’s my Dad.
Kelly: Wow. He has some big arms!
Rex: Yeah, he's weally stwong.
Kelly: What is that he is holding?
Rex: Oh, that’s a sword. And the udder one is a throw-y thing that takes bad guys heads off then comes back to you. He’s fighting bad guys.
Kelly: Wow. Well, it’s really pretty. Keep it up!
Kelly: So tell me about this beautiful drawing.
Rex: It’s you Mommy. You’re Boo-dee-ful.
Kelly: Awww, thanks baby. What is that coming out of the side of my head?
Rex: Your arms silly Mama.
Kelly: …and these things here by my waist? What are they?
Rex: Those are those fings that stick out on you (while grabbing my child bearing hips)
Kelly: Wow. Well, it’s really pretty. Keep it up!
If you enjoyed this post, take a moment to visit this site that always makes me laugh: I'm better than your kids
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