My house looks like it has been robbed.

This time last week we were running our AC at max capacity.  Tuesday came and BAM! Fall arrived as cool as Russell Brand.   Well, with no closets we have taken to the Italian style of storing offseason clothes.  (Turns out you actually don’t need to have your corduroy jeans available in July.  Who knew? ) I started the change out in Rex’s (my boy child) room.  Besides not having a closet, he doesn’t have a dresser either.  His clothes are sort of stacked on a bookshelf.  It works.  Summer clothes one by one entered the gauntlet.  Some emerged victorious; others were defeated and fell into the charity bins.  It was a sad day for size fives.  The winter clothes came out.  Apparently Rex didn’t have a lot of pants last year so this year I acted like the American government and totally over compensated.  He has two to one on pants vs shirts.  I guess I need to buy the boy some shirts.  Rutabaga’s clothes covered every flat surface in her room, and that’s when I followed the weather’s lead and snapped.  It was like my own personal liquidation sale – EVERYTHING MUST GO!  Bags got filled for friends and charities…boxes packed and mailed full of Roo cast-offs.  I was on a roll! 

The thing about getting on a roll is that it gains momentum.  I had emerged victorious from Rex’s room.  I had put forth a valiant effort in Rutabaga’s room.  I was invincible.  Nothing in the house was safe.  Next my winter wear came out of vacuum bags.  Piles of multicolored cotton and wool blend as far as the eye could see.  That’s when I hit the wall.  Children’s clothes are easy.  Does it fit? Is it in good shape?  Done.  My clothes are an entirely different beast.  They all fit and are all in good repair (except for the 100% wool one that I managed to shrink to about a 4T).  How to choose what stays and what goes?  It was like doing calculus drunk.  So, off I went to tackle the magazines…leaving behind copious stacks of fluff…and there it all sat.  Mocking me.  I went to bed last night and the wonkey stacks of cable knit and angora made clothing monsters in the corner of my room.

I wouldn’t say I am a fashion girl’s fashion girl, but I am not without style.  I buy just about everything off clearance racks or e-bay except my shoes.  I even have some items a high school kid that used to babysit for us handed down to me.  Yes, I wear our babysitter’s hand-me-downs…and I LOVE THEM.  What?  Putting together a killer outfit knowing I got the top for a $1 at a garage sale and the sweet blazer for free at a trash-to-treasure swap makes me smiles. 

My kiddos go to a pricey private school (that Husband’s work pays for) and there are some very well-to-do moms there.  One mom has a purse that cost more than the first car I bought when we got married.  A purse.  Seriously.  This isn’t common knowledge stuff for me.  Everyone was making a big fuss over it last year and I was clueless.  Google is my friend and I soon realized Husband is so lucky I have a $35 cap on my purse prices.  So I don’t have a very high per item average on my wardrobe, but I more than make up for it in quantity.  This is how my house came to look like one of those scenes in a spy movie where they ransack the place looking for the microchip with the formula for cold fusion.  Well, I was just trying to find my bed. 

Sometimes a girl needs an intervention.  I am a do-it-yourself kind of girl so let this be no different.  I am (swallow) putting a stop on my shopping.  That’s right.  No clothes.  No shoes.  No cute unders.  No tights (man no tights?!?).  No over-the-knee socks.  No hats.  No belts.  No hairclips.  No sunglasses.  No necklaces.  No pajamas.  No nothing for me. 

I am thinking three months is a high but achievable goal.  Today is September 23rd.  That takes me to December 23rd.  I can totally do it!  I think.  Well, maybe I can.  There were some super cute grey burnout tights at the sock store yesterday…maybe I should start next week after I gather a few necessities.  No!  NO!  NONONONO!  I can do this.  I think.  I think I can.  I think I can.  I can!  Or not.  I guess we will have to see.  In the mean time, I am going to have to find places for the winter clothes and put away the fab cash of sundresses I have collected through an e-bay site that sell Victoria Secret’s catalog returns for next to nothing.  I’m going to try to wear everything in my wardrobe or get rid of it.  I am sort of excited to see what sort of outfits I can come up with.  Anyone else want to join me on this crazy experiment?  I am going to try to remember to take pictures of the combos I come up with and maybe post them as “Fashion Friday” entries – of course, not the days I stay in p.j.’s all day.  That would just be embarrassing.